hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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