Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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