that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
