32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
