Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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