too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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