I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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