Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
