Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize