all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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