I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
