Will you blow on my dice?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
