Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
