It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This house was built for laser tag.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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