I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
