he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize