Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
