as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
