Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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