i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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