Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
