He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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