this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i dont even know how to be here
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
