I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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