I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
