I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
