I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
