she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
