This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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