I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
