I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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