i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She's the barista slut.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
