i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
