At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
