So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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