She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
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Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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