i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
