he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize