I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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