well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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