Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
