You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
