ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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