slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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