Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
