Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
