yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
