i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
