He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
