Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize