I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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