help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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