we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
