Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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