Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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